There is a comfort that comes from reading a book about grief that resonates in our heart. Because it is written by someone who also has felt the grip of grief as we have. There is an understanding that goes beyond the professional alone and this book is one of those.
In 1987 Judith Bernstein’s son died following a battle with cancer. She was unprepared as so many of us are for such a devastating loss. As a psychologist at that time she knew that many professionals believed there was a fixed period of grieving. A loss was something to be gotten over. Yet as a bereaved mother she kept asking how you would ever get over this? What can be normal again after you’ve lost a ‘child’?
Her own experience of loss led her to find out more than just what she was thinking. What were other parents thinking. How were they coping and how were they living after the death of their own children. In “When the Bough Breaks” she shares those very things and gives thanks to the parents who so openly welcomed her into their world.
Arranged in two parts, the first deals with the impact of grief itself. What influences the way we deal with grief and how do we mourn? What makes us similar in that mourning and yet very different? Here in her recounting of the interviews she touches in on many things – the relationship we have with our child, our intimate relationships, the loss of an only child and the way the child died, including murder and suicide. When she talks of ‘child’ their age ranges from three to forty-nine with an average age of nineteen.
Part two is focused on the rest of our lives. Despite the sadness, there is living. Life is forever changed as well as our relationships with others. In her interviews she taps into the day to day difficulties of living after loss – dealing with “the hardest question”, the masks we wear and facing difficult days. We hear how those who have walked before us have picked up the pieces of the nightmare they found themselves in.
She says of her book, “The message of this book is that parents do not return to normal after losing a child. Rather, the ordeal, like the earthquake, changes the terrain of our lives….”
This book is a sensitive and inspiring journey of loss and adaptation. It describes how parents changed through their loss. What helped and what hindered their mourning and how they were able to come to terms with a world in which it was possible for their children to die. In the information shared so openly by these parents it gives much hope and comfort to all of us who walk a similar path.
Maureen Hunter is an inspirational writer and grief steps mentor giving comfort and hope to many. She is passionate about helping people to step through grief and build a new and different life after loss, one in which their loved one is always a part of.
Grieving is such a painful journey, it is a battering of our very heart and soul. In this short video today I wanted to share with you a beautiful place, where I talk about the little things, the small ways we can begin to nurture ourselves in our brokenness.
When we have lost someone we love so very much there are many dates on the calendar which now impact us in ways that they never did before. We know and remember the significant times when our life stood still and those significant days of the year where our loss can bubble up and seem [...]
I'm thinking of you this week in the approach to Mother's Day, a difficult day for so many who have lost loved ones. Please take a moment to watch this short video from Maureen…
Our unique and intensely personal experience of grief can be so alien to us that we are often left floundering and near drowning. Not only are we dealing with the onslaught of painful feelings but also with the questions that constantly repeat in our heads. When something is so powerfully overwhelming as loss, many of [...]
Thank you so much for the trust you place in me. Every day you share your heartbreak and your small steps forward with me as we walk together though your grief. As a nurse for the last thirty five years I have heard from so many others what I also hear from you. [...]
When we are grieving it can be so very hard sometimes to see anything but the pain we feel in our hearts. It can literally take us over and impact every little thing in our life. Our ache for our loved ones can be totally overwhelming not only for us but for everyone around us [...]
When we’re in the pits of grief, and it does indeed feel like we’re in a pit, all we have is pain. Our heart is full of it, our life is full of it, our very being is full of it – because we miss and love them so very much. If you’ve been on Facebook [...]
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING =================================
Maureen, your Stepping Through Grief is some of the best stuff for us “grievers” and believe me I have searched and read a whole lot!.........Mary
******************************************
WOW! I am impressed…thanks for sharing…what you did today was yet another step forward in our world of grief…Sherrie
******************************************
I was just sitting here feeling so much gratitude for your willingness to share the journey with your son, and the inspirational work you are now sharing with the world. Thank you!.........Andrea
******************************************
Maureen, you inspire me without even knowing it. I read your stuff and you make sense….Tamara
******************************************
Thank you Maureen. I so appreciate you and your wonderful teachings......Beth
******************************************
Thank you, Maureen for your wonderful web site. You truly do offer comfort, hope and inspiration to grievers.”... Ashley
******************************************
You have a real knack for picking up on what we who are grieving need- thank you so much for being able to do that....Casey
******************************************
I just want to give your post a big hug, Maureen…Melanie
******************************************
The work you are doing is incredible. Andrea
******************************************
I love your special messages. Thanks for the inspiration ....Linda
******************************************
Thanks so much for a lovely post and for your commitment to providing a safe and open place for people to talk about and experience their grief..... Hannah