This was an article I wrote a few months ago but I thought it was something worth sharing again for a couple of reasons.
1) Far too many people continue to be killed on our roads and as such memorialised with a roadside cross.
2) Memorials continue to be a wonderful way of honouring lives and healing hearts in remembering our loved ones.
In my local town, with a population of 3400, a roadside cross has just been erected for a young man killed too soon. It is simple yet uniquely designed and crafted, placed so as not to be a nuisance to drivers passing by.
On a stretch of quiet country road is another cross, lovingly erected many years ago and now aging amongst the tree litter whilst the trees grow up alongside tall and proud.
This article was written at a time when there was talk of banning them altogether in Western Australia. It caused a furore and the status quo remains. Popping up more frequently now are Roadside Cross Policies, which some may be aware of, some not. And so it continues………..
Once you have read the article, I would love you to share your comments and thoughts about whether you believe they are worthwhile symbols of loss or merely a nusiance factor to drivers.
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Dotting the roadside fringes in urban and rural locations, we cannot help but bear witness to the increasing numbers of roadside crosses dotted around our Australian landscape. The media over recent months have reported on the move to ban them altogether, raising discussion that they serve as unwanted distractors to drivers. With our road toll always much higher than anyone would want, is it going to be a valid recommendation or a needless attempt at focusing on something that provokes emotional discomfort in the general public rather than indeed an issue of valid concern?
I had no idea that roadside crosses or in essence roadside memorials are also known as “descansos”, from the Spanish translation meaning resting places. Dr Barbara Jacquay has been studying them for many years, particularly in Arizona and has photographed over 1000 simple, elaborate and detailed descansos.
This then, is not an issue simply confined to Australia but a worldwide phenomenon. It certainly raised the question for me; “Why do survivors of loss have the need to memorialise loved ones in such a public way?”
Young people have been dying on our roads for years and years. I know this because I have spoken to many people in their senior years, seventies or eighties, who have indeed lost loved ones in motor vehicle accidents, many years prior. However, I can’t recall the plethora of roadside memorials until perhaps the last 10-15 years. Barbara Jacquay says they can be traced back in America to the conquistadors and Spanish priests, hence the name descansos, becoming increasingly popular through the late 80’s onwards.
Many authorities have tried to ban them altogether or impose restrictions on type and detail. Some of the reasons why include:
• Distraction to drivers, especially very elaborate memorials
• Bad positioning
• Safety issues (erecting a cross, someone was actually killed themselves!)
• Ongoing maintenance problems
• Interference with construction/maintenance of verges etc
• Considered by some as roadside litter
One of the more positives approaches a local high school in the south west of Western Australia has taken is by getting their students to find out more about the story behind many of their local roadside crosses. They have linked each cross to a photograph of, in this case, a high school student who died and include a short summary of the circumstances surrounding each accident. This has had the effect of making an anonymous demonstration of loss on our roads become personal, with the view to acting as a highly motivating deterrant to the high school students involved.
It has become a socially accepted norm that most of our loved ones are cremated when they die. This then means, there may no longer be a place to visit, to remember, to ritualise grief in a safe, accepted place. For many, roadside memorials are ways of connecting still and remembering the person who has died. This might be particularly so, for young people who have very little other mementos of their friend to hang on to and remember. None of us want to ever forget those we have loved and lost, so this “new” ritual, descansos, can be for many, a welcome place to visit, to remember, and honour their friends and loved ones.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I have no problems with roadside memorials, per se. Yes, I understand the potential distractions- but so do the trees during the change of seasons. Do we posit their destruction? I would vote for a large sign with a name, so folks don’t try to slow down (creating traffic hazards) to discern who/what. Of course, that’s more obtrusive, so…
I have seen them actually hammered into trees and adorned that way – they are in fact much easier to see and less likely to result in looking down and away from the road so much.
I have no problem with them actually. The fact remains that somehow they act as a constant reminder of what is going around us and makes me more aware. And if one wants to pay respect then please don’t slow down, just stop and park your car in a better position and go and pay your respects. That makes it more sensible.
Thats true Hajra – when I go and visit Stuarts accident site, I always park away and walk up. Mind you it is on a narrow winding road. I hardly see anyone stopping at others I pass, but they must because they are often decorated with new items and fresh flowers etc
I don’t see any problem with them either. As you say, it gives the survivors a way to mark their grief, remember the person. I’ve never found them distracting. I have often wondered who the person was though.
josie x
Josie I think that was why that school initiative was so good, because it actually told a story about the person behind the cross – there are so many, it is so sad.
I have no problem with them and have actually not seen one that I found too distracting.
I only have passed one, that was a little distracting only in that it captured my attention as it was obviously the young girls birthday and was lavishly decorated. It was on a very busy main highway and was a local girl. She was only 17 and her cross was never without new and fresh adornment. I sometimes wondered for her family if that gave them peace to know she was so loved or anguish to have to drive past it everyday.
Hi Maureen -
You know, many people are going to think I am heartless and I am very much the opposite type of person here. But really, where do we draw the line? A drowning accident..a buoy in the water? A heart attack in the back yard…a monument for the next home owner to view? A ball player dies on the basketball court…a memorial at center floor?
Guess what’s happening here! The surviving loved ones are spending more time arranging all this stuff, who’s spending any private time praying for these lost souls? Is it safe, or right, to stop your car on the side of the road and pray at a cross with speeding vehicles buzzing past you?
The world’s people are searching for more and more ways to elevate our importance…to other humans. How many people are spending the time honor their creator? My rant for the day.
Charlie, it’s always good to have an opposing view to an issue. Thanks for adding another layer to the topic.
Its interesting the points you raise about memorialisation. I do recall my daughter saying to me “How many memorials do you need?”
I think it is that strong need to connect in some powerful way with the person that has died that fuels the erection of roadside crosses. I dont believe it is about ego and importance.
As mentioned in my post, it can be unsafe to stop at the roadside as there have been deaths attributed to that.
As for the praying…I cannot speak for others, only myself. I do not go there to pray, I go to remember and connect. I’m not sure what ‘lost souls’ are. When it comes to my loved ones and where they are now, I see peace, serenity, growth, connection and evolution of the self.
Roadside memorials make me sad. I think of the life that was cut short, and I also think that it could have been me. It is almost as if I was walking alongside ghosts, in the urban jungle.
I am not against them, but I think that they should go after a while.
Your words make me shiver – it brings up the images so well in my mind. Thanks for sharing.
Honestly I do not mind them at all here in America and it’s nice to hear that other countries are doing the same. It’s sad to see them along the road, but for that family and friends it may be good for them and their healing process.
There is one particular one that I’m always looking for. I don’t know the story and won’t know, but I vaguely remember hearing about it. It happened at least 15 yrs ago and prompted the lights at this intersection down the street from me. It’s for a very young girl and to this day someone maintains her spot…balloons, teddy bear/rabbit, flowers you name it they just appear! What angers me is that it took the death of a child/person to prompt for this signal that should have gone up no matter what for many of us had complained for years and VDOT knew! That is why I make sure I say a small prayer for this child and her family. Ok got off topic there…but I don’t mind!
If only people would calm down while driving, pay more attention, get off their cell phones, and relax maybe one day we won’t see as many of these markers.
That is special Leona that you remember and pray for the precious child and her family. It is very sad that it usually takes a tragedy or a number of them before changes are often made.
Driving is a daily occurrence where we do indeed take our life in our hands, and if we are distracted in any way, it makes our risk rise even higher.
Roadside crosses can be a good reminder, particularly for younger drivers, of what can happen if you drive carelessly. Also, they are a morbid reminder of all the road accidents resulting in death. I don’t know where the authorities should draw a line, but just how many roadside crosses can go up before they become not only a distraction but an obstruction? Perhaps they should be erected just for younger drivers or passengers who have lost their lives in accidents. Too many will also stop being meaningful and start being irritating, if they are not that already.
Pennie, I really am not sure how significant they are in being a deterrant. I doubt their impact in that way. They really are for the families and friends of those left behind. Yes, the people that see them are saddened, but would it make a teenager drive slower, stop taking risks, become less distracted at time….I dont think so.
It is a sad reflection of our lifestyle now that so many lives lost are marked by a cross on the side of the road.
I also do not have a problem with roadside crosses. I think they are a good reminder to take care on our roads. With regard to them being a distraction, perhaps there is a possibility of legislating a uniformity in size and placement. I think the school initiative was excellent. A true education.
Everyone grieves in different ways and should be allowed to do so in their own way. I’m not a graveyard person, to me, I’m closest to my Dad when we have a family celebration. He is more present to me then than visiting a gravestone that bears no relation to how he lived his life.
I liked the school initiative too, much more meaningful for those young adults than just blindly passing crosses each day with probably no great thought.
I’m glad you have found ways to be close to your Dad and feel his presence in your life x