When we have lost someone we love so very much there are many dates on the calendar which now impact us in ways that they never did before. We know and remember the significant times when our life stood still and those significant days of the year where our loss can bubble up and seem magnified once more. There is one coming up…..it’s Mother’s Day.
You may be a mother whose child is no longer here physically to say “Happy Mother’s Day Mum” or you may be without your own mother this year or a family member who meant as much as a mother can to you. Either way whilst many things may ease your hurt a little the void remains, there nestled in the deep recesses of your heart. It hurts so greatly at times that sometimes there are no words, can never be the words that can ever express how you feel without them being here to sprinkle your life with love.
That deep love, that deep connection you have for them never dies. That is something you can never lose. Think of the love that shines in your heart, just for them. Your love and your bond with them will last forever. It is something which is yours to cherish and to hold forever. Their invisible presence wraps golden threads around your heart and within your soul. That is your forever love, your constant, the gift of your own true love.
As this Mother’s Day approaches that is what you have and will always have. Even though you cannot hug them tight and hold them you can hold the love you shared in your heart, as you always have and always will. That is yours to keep when the days become dark with longing. That is yours to keep when you think you cannot go on. That is yours to keep when you clasp a memory from heaven and hold it tight.
Let your love for them strengthen you throughout this day and the others which are to follow. As a mother and as a daughter or a son you have great love and great strength even though it may often seem as if the latter has deserted you. It hasn’t. It is not the strength that comes from denying your great sorrow and pain but the strength that comes from being you in your heartache and feeling all you feel for your beloved. This is the strength that continues to keep you keeping on. Those very same qualities passed down through a generation of mothers, including yours. It is their legacy to you – your gift to keep.
So on this Mother’s Day when your heart may break and tears may fall, remember the gifts you do have residing deep within you. Remember your strength and remember your great love…..their eternal love and light will shine bright within you always.
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.
Maureen Hunter is an inspirational writer and grief steps mentor giving comfort and hope to many. She is passionate about helping people to step through grief and build a new and different life after loss, one in which their loved one is always a part of.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Dear Maureen
Your words you wrote for Mothers day were so beautiful.It brought memories flooding back of Mothers days celebrated and other happy ocassions.It is three years since Mom passed on and as I remember the tears come and I cry so hard that my throat constricts in pain.Dearly loved and still very much missed.Love you so much Mom.
Thank you again for your beautiful thoughts and words. So many of us who have never met are bonded by the loss of a child. A loss no one should have to endure. On Mother's Day, I will visit with my son Andrew and place flowers at the tree our family planted for our Chris on the lawn of his church. Last Mother's Day was my first and I felt Chris' loving arms around me throughout the day. Wishing you peace and blessings.
May his arms be around you this Sunday and every day Barb, thank you for your wishes ~ Maureen
Right now, every day is hard. Don't think Mother's Day can be any harder. Since I still have my Mom's ashes with me, I've already brought her roses and I will buy her a corgage as I have done so many years in the past. I miss her so much. I never knew grief could cause such mass desctruction of the soul. I'm grateful Maureen for all your letters etc. Somedays I read something and hold on to it, others days, I can't comprehend anything. It's just so raw. Though it's hard for you Maureen, Mother's Day, I ask for you a special blessing from God for all you do for us. Hugs to you dear one.
Thank you Cathy I love blessings and accept each one that comes into my life. Hugs ~ Maureen
I TOO WILL MISS MY SON THIS MOTHER'S DAY. IT WAS OUT LAST HOIDAY TO CELEBRATE TOGETHER LAST YEAR BEFORE HE PASSED. I HAVE HIS LAST CARD TO ME STATING "YOU ARE THE BEST MOTHER ON EARTH". WHAT A STATEMENT NOT KNOWING IN JUST A MONTH HE WOULD BE GONE FOREVER. I LOVE AND MISS HIM TERRIBLY BUT KNOW I WILL SEE HIM AGAIN WITH OUR LORD. I HAVE COME TO ACCEPT THIS NEW LIFE WITHOUT HIM. IT IS MORE LONELY AT TIMES BUT I KNOW I WILL PRESS ON BECAUSE THERE ARE OTHERS THAT NEED MY TIME NOW. LOVE AND MISS YOU CHRIS, SEE YA
THIS IS MY FIRST MOTHERS DAY WITHOUT MY MOM, IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN 3 MONTHS SINCE SHE'S GONE, BUT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO HARD ON ME. I'VE LOST BOTH MY PARENTS IN THE LAST 3 YEARS, I HAVE AN ESTRANGED BROTHER BY HIS OWN CHOICE, BUT I DO HAVE A LOVING HUSBAND & 2 WONDERFUL KIDS!! I WAS THE CARETAKER OF MY MOM, SHE LIVED WITH US AFTER DAD DIED, I TALKED TO HER EVERY DAY, NOW I FEEL LOST & NO PURPOSE. SOME DAYS I DO OKAY, BUT THEN THERE AER OTHERS I'M SO EMOTIONAL & SAD. I KNOW BOTH MY PARENTS ARE IN HEAVEN, BUT IT DOESN'T TAKE AWAY THE LOSS I FEEL & SADNESS. MY PARENTS ALWAYS GOT ME MOTHERS DAY CARDS & GIFTS, IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE ALOT, BUT I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS COMING, BUT IT'S NOT COMING THIS YEAR.
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING. GOD BLESS! NANCY
Yes Maureen………..this is my first Mothers Day without my Mum and it will be hard. My beautiful daughter will be with me to make new memories and keep the happy memories coming.
Kate
i said a few weeks ago that mothers day would not hurt me any more than any day hurts and i think i will make it thru – but may 10th – today is her birthday, she would have been 90. i am all to aware of the day and what it stands for and what i have lost. every day now my losses add up. trying times were when i could always count on her and now there is no one to lessen my daily burdens
hi maureen just wanted to say thank you for your beautiful words about mothers day, this year will be my second without my wonderful mother and to be honest although i am a mother myself i am not looking forward to the day…come to think of it the past few days week leading up to the day have been very difficult as i miss her so very much….happy mothers day to you maureen <3
Thank you Geri
Dear Maureen. This is NOT my first MOTHER's DAY without my mum, its the fourth, It is not my first MOTHER"S DAY without my son , ..it'sthe second. I am trying to remember the good times we had as a family and looking at photos reminding me of how it used to be, Nothing lasts forever ,so now a NEW lot of memories has to be forged . I'll remember my mum with flowers and tell her to look after her grandson til we get there to take over again!! We will try to remember our beautiful daughter is here with us and our grandson , our son has left for us to look after. We will thank god for the good in life and hope our loved ones are looking down and sharing the day with us too. I loving memory xxxxxx
Thank you so much for the, words of encouragement <3 This will be my first Mother's Day, without my Mother on Earth. I have cried, thinking about how much I miss her, looking at her pictures, as I am crying now, just trying to write back to you and thank you for all that you stand for. Thank you so much <3
My mom passed away Jan 3rd. My world is upside down. She was my best friend and so much more. I have always lived near my parents and we have always done everything together. All holidays – all vacations – daily life – we even worked together in our own family business. I am thankful for all that we shared and miss her so very much. I have never celebrated anything without her so this Mother's Day comes with so much sorrow and thankfulness. When I remember good times it just reminds me that she is not here … tears fall daily. Thank you for all you share with us and allowing all of us to have a place to come to where others truly understand. Happy Mother's Day to all.
Your article on Mother's Day was wonderful. I will be burying my oldest son the day before Mother's Day. This is not going to be a good one, but I need to be able to get through it for my other son. I am going to just try to remember all the good Mother's Day memories I have of Jason and probably have a good cry. Happy Mother's Day to all!
Cindy so so sorry – I am sure you will love and cry, be all of who you are and together you will get through ~ Maureen
This is my first Mother's Day without my Mom. I feel like Kathy (according to her post her Mom passed away January 3) is a kindred spirit. Mom died February 3 and we also did everything together. Some tell me I think and talk about Mom too much, I still shouldn't be crying over her loss everyday, but it all seems so natural to me. She may be physically gone, but she is FOREVER in my heart and mind. I miss her terribly and love her beyond description.
This will be my 3rd Mother's Day without my son. I have found that for my sanity I treat this day as any other day. I still have my daughter at home and this helps but still part of my heart/soul is gone. Thank you so much for your site. I hate to have to say but it helps to hear from others going through the same struggles. It helps to know you are not alone.
Thanks for your comments and thoughts as I type this with tears blurring my eyes. Your words have extra meaning because I know that you have (and are still) experienced this pain, You speak from your heart and soul. Thanks again for being there for all of us
Thank you so much for all your treasures MAureen! You are a very special person! All these treasures have helped me so much!!
This will be my first Mothers Day without my son Carlos. He was always the first one to tell me how much he LOVED me. And what a special person I was.. Im gonna miss that from him. I miss him sooo much every day!!!!!
Missing my son – Mother's day is so very different now
This is my first Mother's Day without my lovely son, Gustav, my only child, who died ten months ago. It really is hard to accept the finality that I'll NEVER hear his voice saying "Happy Mother's Day Mom!" again. How I miss him!
It is so very hard Estelle, the missing of those things are what we long for so very much. Keep his love always in your heart, as you always will ~ Maureen
Hi Maureen, Yes today is a very tough day. I miss my youngest son so bad today. My heart aches and the tears come so easily. I did hear from my oldest son and that made my day but it just isn't complete anymore with out hearing from Cory too. God, there are days I just don't know if I can keep going on. I know I will , but it's just so hard. This day will always be a tough one from now on. I am so glad I can chat with others that have lost a child. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it does make it feel like I'm not ALL ALONE with this awful pain. Thank you for all your encouragement. Hope you are having a Happy Mothers Day. Hugs, Marilyn
Thank you for all your communications as I grieve. Your comforting words and permission to go at my pace gives me hope. I know the future holds brighter days as I work my way there.
Wishing you peace and love.
I want to feel my Mom w/me. She always said she would be w/me, after she died I would know she was around but I can't tell it, I feel NOTHING but GRIEF. This has shaken my faith. I don't pray or go to church. I am hoping to find my way that is why I am here. I do feel there is hope now I am just getting started on your website <3
Hi Nia, so often in the devastating pain of grief we are numb and blocked from feeling anything but anguish. Even though you cannot feel your Mum around you I truly believe our loved ones are with us and we hold them forever in our heart ~ Maureen
Hi Maureen I lost my Mum 13 months ago and the pain and the heartache is still there. The first of everything was hard and now that Mothers Day is coming again for me I feel no different than this time last year.
So for me Mothers Day is not the same anymore I see the cards I look away from them cannot bear to look at them.
I want the pain and the heartache to go away or ease but I know in my heart that is not going to happen because when she passed away part of me went to.
Hi Maureen, I lost my beautiful daughter “Ashleigh Susan” suddenly in october 2012. When I think of mothers day I think of everyday. Not a day went by where we did’nt say I love you, talk, see each other and i am so alone and lost without my baby, my best friend. I have the love of family and friends but it just does’nt seem enough. I look at my beautiful granddaughter and my heart breaks knowing she will grow up not really knowing her beautiful mum and I can’t seem to get my head around growing old without her. Life is so unfair and will never be the same. I am half the peron I used to be, hollow, no feeling I just exsist. I have found your sight helpful and inspiring knowing I am not alone in my thoughts although I am so lost alone in my being. Thank you Debra