Living Your Life After Loss When You Don’t Know How
30 Days Step-by-Step on How to Live your Life after Loss
Life as you once knew it has gone…forever and right now it’s just become a case of doing your best, day-by-day. Wake up, survive, sleep. Does that sound like you? Maybe you’ve been thinking, “How can I go on living without them? It just doesn’t seem right.” The guilt starts to creep in and you feel as if you're betraying them in some way if you even consider it.
I know what that feels like! As a bereaved mother, I spent many days trying to make sense of my loss, my grief and the question of “How could I possibly have a life…NOW!”
My beautiful son Stuart. This was the last photo of us together before he died tragically in a car accident…
Some days facing one minute is your challenge. Some days you live hour by hour. Some days coming to Facebook with others who are grieving and finding hope becomes your lifeline.
Some days all you can do is just get through this day as best you can and hope for a better tomorrow. Knowing always that beneath your sadness and pain remains love, always love.
Today I want to reach out and touch your heart because I see beneath the smile, beneath the words, beneath the "I'm OK" all the pain and anguish that such a loss brings.
~ If there are days when you are struggling with the aching loneliness of your loss.
~ If there are days when you have become lost to yourself.
~ If there are days when you no longer recognise who you see in the mirror.
~ If there are days when you long to hug them forever and ever but don't know how.
Then please join me in this daily email series:
' Getting through step by step'
'Keeping them in your heart always'
`The hope of a better tomorrow'
'Feel comforted as you face each day'
'Know you never have to let them go'
……..and so much more.
To begin facing your tomorrow, when you don't know how…
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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
The last 30 days have given me an inspiration..Hope you come back with something new.I enjoyed it very much.Thank you very much for so many kind words..
i would like to receive your daily emails. Thank you
Lynn please click on the link below. You will be taken to a page where you can enter your details into the box near the bottom of the page and click start now.
http://esdeer.com/living-after-loss-when-you-dont-know-how/
Maureen,
This is the only place I feel safe being completely honest, and not be afraid of others judging me for my feelings or my thoughts. Today is my son's best friend's 27th birthday, they were best friends all through high school and up until my son's death 14 months ago. I woke up with a dark cloud over my head today, thinking of how life goes on for everyone else, how my son's friends get older, have new girlfriends, go on trips, get new jobs; and my son will not experience any more of those events. He will be forever 25 in our hearts and memories. It breaks my heart and it feels so impossible to me. Thank you for letting me share.
Maggie I think that is another one of the hards, hards, hards we have to deal with. For others there are birthday celebrations, weddings and children perhaps in their future, but for our children we have not only lost their physical presence but we have lost their future and our future together. And that is a painful moment to see in the experience of others close to them and to us. Hugs ~ Maureen
Thank you Maureen………It was a difficult weekend for me to get through, even after 14 months, it still feels so unreal and so impossible to believe.
I lost my daughter. She was 23 and a twin. She died in a horrific car accident while on the job. She was killed by someone who should not have been behind the wheel of a car. Our justice system is not working for me.
ive had a really difficult year and a half. i lost my dad to esophigeal cancer on july 27 2010, we found out he had cancer in april and 3 months later he was gone. and then on dec. 29 2011 i got a call from my mom, my sister and her daughter were in a bad car accident. my sister passed on jan. 4 and my neice passed on jan. 6. it was the day after my niece turned 17. its been so hard. i dont know how to move on without them. i get so angry and sad all the time. ill be ok one minute and crying the next. i dont know how to cope with all this pain. i feel like people judge me when i talk about how im feeling. i feel so alone even with family and friends around. thank you for letting me get all this out.
Lisa my article this week is about not feeling we can be who we are in our grief, leaving us feeling very alone and very misunderstood. I am sure you will get much support and understanding from this 30 day email series ~ Maureen
Maureen, I look forward to your daily words of wisdom and courage to make it through my day. I too have lost someone so special to me, my husband of 21 years in Nov.,2011. He took his own life and I am still stuck. Everyone around me thinks I should be better than I am but reading your letters I know that everyone heals at a different pace and I will never be the same person I was before. I thank you from the bottom of my broken heart for helping me when I thought there was no hope.
Maureen, I've heard that the second year is so much worse than the first. I can believe that. Up to this point on my journey there were so many ups and downs that I couldn't see straight and then there were times when I just didn't care anymore and (I remember posting) that it would be sooo easy just to give in, give up, and let go; I didn't have the strength to continue and didn't much care either. I worked through that …. June 8 will be the two year mark for me. I thought the first year was horror enough, but, this second year …. so much more difficult. I've been in the process of a meltdown for a week. I find myself struggling to take a step or two forward and I feel like this black cloud of – I don't know. Since my husband died everyone I've ever known or cared for just left – and didn't come back; as though it was just another day in the life and it's over and done. Fortunately, a Facebook friend I didn't even know gave me the link to a widows website that became the family and friends that didn't walk away. It was on that website where I first heard about Stepping Through Grief. There are days now when I'm not sure I'll get even get through. Then, when I think that there is nothing left, no words that could possibly help, I get your email. I read it. And I pause. Thank you for the pause.
You describe so well what grief is Lori and I’m so very grateful you have found your safe places where you do have support and can take a pause ~ Maureen
Thank you Maureen! This opened my mind! And helped me!