The physical loss of someone we love so very much has no words. Can never have words for the agony we face without them. Keeping our loved ones near can seem impossible when our life is plunged into a new reality we never asked for or ever wanted. We are cast adrift from all we know, all we treasured and left floundering in the gut wrenching pain of overwhelming grief. We miss them SO much; our hearts feel as if they will never be whole again.
The missing aches. It burns into the centre of our being. If only we could see them, touch them and smell them. What we would give for one more hug, to hold them and love them. Although those things are a much wished for dream there are ways we can keep our relationship with our loved one strong, not as we once did but in new and different ways. We can begin to find ongoing and everlasting connections that will bring them to us. Bring our remembrances into the treasured places of our hearts. Bring the essence of our loved ones into our life each and every day.
Connecting with our loved ones in these new and different ways gives us a forever part of them as we grieve and as we heal. We never have to think that we are leaving them behind because they are a constant presence in our day to day. Our love for them will never die. Our thoughts are full of them, our minds are full of them and our hearts are overflowing with them. They are and always will be a part of who we are.
Keep Them Near:
Display their photos in beautiful frames, make their favourite clothing into a throw, and find a special place for their treasured mementos. Know that you can touch those treasures anytime you wish. Inhale the smell of them and hold them close. Keep something with you as you go about your daily life, a photo in your wallet, a special piece of jewellery or a tattoo. No matter where you go, there they are. A little bit of them with you always.
Talk to Them:
Talk to them in the car and around the house. Say hello in the morning, and kiss their photo a good night in the evening. Buy a beautiful journal and write a note to them every day. Tell them what you wanted to say. Tell them how much you miss them. Tell them what’s happening in your life and how different it is now. Ask them to mind over you and bless your life with their invisible presence.
Hear from Them:
Some of you may hear them speaking to you, yet when you go to look there is no-one there. Some things can never be explained logically. Listen to what they are saying. If they come to you in a dream, listen to the words you hear. See the images and garner the overall feeling of the dream. Depending on your beliefs, many have found much comfort and connection from a visit to a spiritual medium and have found the communication affirming, healing and restorative.
Notice Them:
You’re sure you see a shadow in the corner of the room and turn around to see it disappear. Light flickers in strange places that can’t be explained. Electricity does strange things. There may also be signs and symbols that you learn to recognise. Your loved one will find their own special symbol which ‘speaks’ to you in a way that is truly THEM and yours to keep and cherish. Often it is something from the natural world, a persistent type of bird, a special butterfly or a rainbow. You might see signs on car number plates and hear music on the radio at significant times. Feathers drift into your home or in front of your feet and you find coins in unlikely places.
There are many more ways we can continue to keep our loved one with us and notice their presence beyond the physical alone. Keep them near you always and choose the comfort that comes from knowing that our connection continues. Our bond is forever. Our love eternal.
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If you look at many of my photos you can see I am wearing a pendant. It is one of the very special ways I keep my son close and part of my life each and every day. I so love what these memory pendants can do for our aching hearts that I decided to source some very special ones for Esdeer. May you also find the gift of comfort and connection from filling it with a special treasure and keeping it close to your heart always. You can find all the details here.
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My much loved and missed cat, Oscar and I had a very special ritual we would go through every morning on the way down the stairs. It involved a lot of kisses and strokes from me and utter delight from him.
A few days after he died, a beautiful black moth (Oscar was black) fluttered around me all the way down the stairs. It circled around me on each step on the way down.
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