“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night.”….Brenda Mallon
I don’t know anyone who has lost a loved one that doesn’t wish for a dream of them. To see them, perhaps touch them or hear them – such incredible joy. It is the closest you may come to being with them again and erasing for a moment the jolt of reality, which is. Viewed as a treasured blessing, they are a form of healing dreams.
Recently I came across the work of Carla Blowey. A certified dreamwork facilitator, she is presenting at The Compassionate Friends National Conference this July on DREAMS: A BLESSING IN DISGUISE FOR BEREAVED PARENTS. Carla believes that dreams are opportunities to see your grief journey in a different slant, and to enable a sense of healing to occur.
My interest piqued I explored further. I was surprised to find a large amount of literature and information on such phenomenon. However, I have turned to just one book, “Grief Dreams: How They Help Heal Us After The Death of a Loved One” by TJ Wray and Ann Back Price, to share some key points with you.
The Four Main Categories of Grief Dreams:
The Visitation Dream: You are spending time with your loved one in this dream. The dream environment may be of a quiet and contemplative nature. Whilst you may love to have this occur often, it may just happen once. It is a blissful moment of reunion.
The Message Dream: This type of dream conveys some important information or instruction. Something you really need to know. It may include a message for someone other than you.
The Reassurance Dream: This is a very comforting and consoling dream. Offering a message of affirmation, it can confirm that your loved one is OK. It can also confirm they think you are doing OK too. It is an uplifting and positive dream and specifically for you, not someone else. Often in response to a question or concern, you have.
The Trauma Dream: These may be painful to experience. Often rehashes the circumstances surrounding the death of your loved one. However serves the purpose to allow you to slowly take in and digest what has happened. They are most common in the early days of grieving.
As well as allowing you to come to terms with what has happened, grief dreams in general promote:
1) A sense of connectedness and ongoing relationship
2) An unravelling and sorting of your emotions
3) A link to your life, your future, giving you insight and understanding
In Part 2 of this series I will outline how dreams speak to you, in a language all of their own, and what you can do to recall them more easily.