A ritual is just something that we do regularly so that it becomes a habit. Grief rituals can be very helpful to us as we grieve and today I talk about the power of candles and share a candle lighting ritual with you.
I'd love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Maureen, I do like doing the rituals also. It helps me feel close to Marty. Every morning Marty came to my house before going to work. When he left I kissed his cheek four time. Every morning I kiss his picture four times. It has been two years and 4 months that Marty has been gone from me and I have done this every morning and plan to continue it – it starts my day. Thank you for sharing the candle lighting ritual and for all your inspiration you give.
Love,
Becky Loflin
Marty's Mama
Your words are always so inspiring. After my son passed I had a hard time lighting candles for him. It was always a ritual for my mother to light a candle for her deceased loved ones, her parents, uncle and sister. But when I thought of lighting a candle for my son, it just didn't feel right, he was young and full of life, not like the elderly relatives who had passed before him. But now, my husband and I light a candle by his picture every night, it makes me feel as if we are that light and we want him to see the light in our hearts which is calling out to him.
Max, my 8 year old, was killed this past November. We honor his memory in some way at every holiday, every monthly milestone (he died on 11/11/11), and at happy celebrations. I'm getting married next Saturday and we are remembering Max by lighting 36 heart-shaped floating chinese lanterns. He would have been thrilled to see such a sight! I love coming up with creative ways to remember him, because he was such an imaginative child.
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This is a very good idea. I think I'll try it.. My husband and I used to sit by an open fire during hunting season and he loved it so much. Sometimes he would sit by the fire and enjoy it so much that he would forget to go hunting. I used to tease him about this. The candle can hold the same meaning for me. Thank you for sharing this with me.
i light candles for my son, michael, all the time. it is my ritual for saying hello and i remember you,.,….
thank u so much for this video i have some of my sons ashes buried in a little flower garder in my backyard with his picture hanging there and a solar light to shine on him at night i like your idea of candles thank u so much and God Bless u
You are such a brave woman, sharing yourself with others to be of help.
I love candles, and while I don't have a specific ritual for a specific person, the lighting of candles, sometimes many of them in one room, brings me a sense of peace.
Thank you.
Dear Maureen , you are a true inspiration to us all , such a big help to me since losing my wonderful dad , keep on doing what your doing …… such great work ,helping others whilst going through your own grief . A GREAT BIG THANK YOU TO YOU XXXX
Thank you Clair x
I love some of these suggestions.I am going to try the sand and canble idea . That appealed to me !! For my son's first birthday without him( he was 30 ) we filled 30 black helium balloons and one red one for the year we had without him and we let those go with friends around. We wrote on the balloons with textas and said what we wanted to say to him and then let them go at the same time. It was uplifting to watch them move up towards the heavens and at one point, when everyone was silently watching the ballons move carelessly among the clouds …his 5 year old son asked " Are those message going to daddy in heaven?" It was such a moving moment. We hope to continue the balloon ritual to remember him and bring others together that loved him….so we don't forget!
I do light candles very often. As a matter of fact I make my own candles. My husband used to help me with them. But I havn't made any since he passed away. He was always so helpful. It won't be the same without him here to help.
thank u for sharing , and being the wonderful caring person that you are.. i havent burned any candles lately but i do love the scent of them I have my son on my mind always and in y heart.. i feel his approval or dislike of things in my life i know that he is a part of something I am unable to understand that watches over me in all ways, i just let the flow of loving thoughts fill my soul and thankfullness for the precious time i had with Todd. and I do the best that I can to live as close to the CROSS as I can.. i pray for your peace and sorrow of missing your precious son,,Sometimes its wise to allow things to flow naturally. i have prayed for certain things and when I got my request I could not handle it but I welcome all warm feelings I have We all have to pray for one another
I have rethought my coment n I think that whatever helps the hurt n who knows what Gods plan is for us n how he speaks to us to comfort us. I hate I didnt think this through. Just know my friend is not crazy so what she saw had to be real n hope I didnt hurt her by that coment. Wonderful person n I love her n her Family!
Thank you for sharing your candle ritual. i have lit candles in church for mom..I have conversations in the form of a journal and I do pour out my feelings when i am at the cemetery. Her White rose plant in my garden is blooming. I have a bird come to my window every morning and tap.
I really love the idea of your candle ritual. Something I will begin to do. I long to feel her presence and connect. more with her. i miss her so.
Thank you again for the help and understanding.
Gerry
Thank you for all your special comments and all your beautiful sharing ~ Maureen