“Dreams say what they mean, but they don’t say it in daytime language”….Gail Godwin
Getting Dreams to Stick
There’s two key things about dreams I have come to understand.
1. They are slippery little suckers (thanks Julia Roberts).
2. They speak in ‘tongues’.
Have you ever had the most amazing dream? You knew it was important. You were convinced you were going to remember every detail about it. Guess what? You didn’t. It slipped away in the fog. That happens so often. Even when I’ve woken briefly with the details of a dream uppermost in my mind, ten minutes later it’s gone.
The other thing most of us forget when it comes to dreams is they have a language all their own. They communicate in symbols.Often those symbols mean something different to what we think they mean! We need to shelf our analytical mind, our expectations and tap into a different part of ourselves if we are to get the messages that dreams often give us.
Recalling your dreams
Here are my list of suggestions for increasing your chances of remembering your dreams:
1) Set the intention before you go to sleep that you will remember your dream. Tell yourself in 3 different ways.
2) Keep a notebook and pen by the bed to record your dream symbols.
3) When you awake, don’t get up straight away. Linger over the dream in your mind. Instead of thinking about the dream as a whole, pick out the key symbols in your dream. As well as the symbols determine the feeling of the dream, the overall emotion of what you felt in the dream.
4) Then write those symbols and emotions down immediately in your notebook.
5) Add to your notes during the day if something comes to mind about the dream later.
Getting the meaning of the dream
Dreams are deceptive. They can be incredibly simple and clear or the complete opposite. Whilst I’m no expert on dream analysis, here are some ideas for interpretation that may help. One thing I do know though is that we all love sharing our dreams and talking about them. However, your dream is your dream. Its message is for you and whilst others may put their slant on it, the meaning you attribute to it makes it your dream, no-one elses.
1) List your dream symbols:
People
Places or environment – the setting for the dream
Things – books, furniture, houses, toys, cars, planes
Emotions – the overall feel of the dream
Any words spoken
Animals
2) Brainstorm alongside each symbol anything that comes to your mind. Almost like a word association game. You can also use a dream dictionary, but try with just your own ideas first.
3) Try and get an overall meaning of the dream based on the above. This could take a few days. What do you think it is trying to tell you? What insights have come to you?
4) Can you incorporate any ‘teachings’ or insights from your dream into your life now? Do you need to take some action or make some changes in your life as a result.
Grief dreams in particular can be very useful in helping to work through the gamut of emotions you may be experiencing. They can tap into your subconscious in ways that your conscious mind isn’t able to. This then allows you to excavate what is going on beneath the surface. Remember though that dreams may not always be what they first seem. Often loved ones may be there, but may not speak. They are near but they are different. You may want answers; they may not give them to you directly. Try not to focus on what hasn’t happened in the dream but what has.
Revisit the four categories of grief dreams in Part 1 and see if your dream slots into one of those. It may not. Use it as a guide to help you as you journey through grief.
To live is to experience so much of what it is to be human. To experience tragedy, challenges and struggle. I posted this article a while ago, “Have you got the L Word in your bag” and I wrote: “We cleverly find ways of dealing with the situations and circumstances that we find ourselves in. We’ve got our own little bag of goodies. Our own personal and unique arsenal full of weaponry to get us through.”
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
I have always held dreams to be important in finding out more about oneself – a manifestation of the huge amount of psychology I was studying in college. Dreams though important can be a little disturbing to many also. When it becomes too much of a pressure to deal with, one should definitely opt for professional help. The tips you have suggested here are some very powerful ways to get in “touch” with your dreams and may have very satisfying results!
Hajra I am so glad you brought that up…because I forgot to! Yes they can be disturbing and intrusive and if they continue to be so, it is really important to get help.
Thanks for your comment
More good advice. It even works for skeptics such as I who believe dreams are primarily just reflections and continuations of what’s going on in your daily life and are simply byproducts of your mind trying to make sense of random neuronal activity while you’re sleeping. Not much fun in that though.
Thanks Thom – let me know if you have a goodie.
I love dreams with a passion! As a matter of fact, contrary to how others feel, I don’t feel as rested when I wake up not remembering my dreams (I’m a believer we always dream and that people who say they don’t just don’t remember the dream). Anyway, I agree with your tips and have found the jotting down bit as well as not getting up so quickly very true! I’ve also had a few dreams that shook me to the core and though they were a bit symbolic, I also knew/know that the message was pretty straightforward. It was such a meaningful dream of an angel speaking and it has changed me since.
What a beautiful dream of an angel…what a gift Joy. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
What a great subject. I don’t know what category my dreams fall into, but I enjoy them a lot. Sometimes, it’s like watching a movie with me as the main character. I hate waking up and losing them. I hate losing the friends and people I meet in them. Some are so vivid that I’m sure that they come from a parallel universe or a past life. Occasionally I remember enough to write down. And I’m fortunate not to have grief dreams. Yes, I dream of lost ones, sometimes a lot, but they are more like a re-encounter with friends who are never far gone from my memory.
Penelope I too enjoy my dreams, but often they are incredibly baffling to me. You obviously dream a lot and are very blessed to do so and remember. Dreaming of your ‘lost ones’ as you do is indeed wonderful -enjoy the precious moments.
For some reason I never seem to remember my dreams. Maybe it is better that way!
Some dreams are so beautiful Muriel, perhaps they wrap themselves around you in your sleep without you knowing.
I have very vivid detailed dreams and I do keep a notebook and pen next to my bed to I can write as much as I remember as soon as I wake up. I’ve also woken myself up by crying in my sleep or laughing in my sleep. Usually I don’t remember what I was dreaming at those times though. I recently heard about a friend from my past passing away. It’s been at least 25 years, if not more, since I’ve had any contact at all with this person. I wonder if I will dream about him.
It’ll be interesting to see ….
Hi Maureen -
When I was younger in my teens and into my early 20s, I dreamed almost every night. These dreams were as real as could be. At least to me they were. Today I don’t dream very much and can’t remember a single image in my mind when I do. I wonder what that means?
Charlie I think lots of people have trouble recalling their dreams. I do as well. Hence the tips I shared which I know many people use to good effect.
Having said that, I have had a number of dreams where there has been a very strong message in there for me and I remember those in vivid detail.
The sub conscious mind is endlessly fascinating to me. Thanks for sharing your experiences.
I go to bed to dream!!!!
What also helps recall the dream is an additional part to step 3 – don’t move!!! Our dreams are stored in our bodies. If we move unconsciously then the dream will be missed. As we work to recall the dream whilst still lying in bed, if there is no recollection, gently move one part of the body at a time, seeing if any dream memory is released. Take care to notice the memory as it is released from your body.
I use this technique a lot and it really helps to recover those dreams that I know I’ve just dreamt, but can’t remember!
Ruby Starheart recently posted..Inspirational and Motivational words to bring a smile to your face
Great tips Ruby ~
Maureen Hunter recently posted..I Give You This One Thought To Keep
I actually have two kinds of dreams, one is just a dream and easily forgotten and although I can see my son I don't speak to him, he is a part of a crowd most of the time. The other is a visit where I speak and touch and talk to him..he has never answered and I get the impression that he has come to comfort me and my longing to see him, those dreams stay with me for days and I can revisit them whenever I want.
Aren’t they the most beautiful dreams Cheryl, it is such a beautiful thing for him to come to you as you sleep. I have one in particular where my son comes for me and spends time with me, it happened over a year ago now but is as vivid now as it was then ~ Maureen
Thank you so much for this, Maureen! The only trouble I have, is that some of my dreams are so real, that when I wake up, it takes awhile for me to realize that he is really gone…and it's been almost 7 years now! It's hard after those dreams, when reality hits. I wish I didn't have to wake up sometimes. Thank you again for all you do! (Care InGrief on facebook), Wendy
How beautiful that you have him with you in your dreams Wendy….
Great articles on dreams and more. You mentioned Patch Adams. I gave a workshop many years ago at a conference. Patch was also a presenter…very tall, very skinny, dressed to make you laugh including the red nose. I chose to spend a day at his workshop and before the day was over he had all of us wearing red noses and dared us to go to local stores and shop while ignoring the noses, acting as if all is normal. Three of us took him up on it and went to a local K-Mart. Weird reactions from people. We laughed our way through 7 hours with Patch….your reminder made this sad person laugh. Thanks, Mary
I loved the film Mary, it would have been a pleasure to see him in person and share is infectious nature
I dream of my husband most nights, He passed away 7 weeks tomorrow. I cherish my dreams of him.
How lovely Brenda that you have such wonderful dreams, blessings to you ~ Maureen