Crying in grief is more common than not and many of us have no choice but to let our tears flow as they will. For many though it requires a safe place before we can allow them to come and this picture of the lady crying in the shower resonated to much with many of you.
In this short audio recording, I talk about tears and about some of the safe places you do your crying in your grief.
Have a listen…..
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
i Maureen. Want to thank you so much for this site. Dad passed 19months ago and you have been a great help to me. Saw my psychologist today and told her about my VIVID dream of dad coming to me and she said that the close relationship with dad (he was always there for me 24/7, he never judged me and he was the only person who could always help and make things better for me) I probably will never find someone to replace him and I don't want to. I feel dad all around me and know he is watching over me and have signs from him all the time. Just want to thank you so so much. Chris
You will never have to replace your Dad Chris, though others may come and be a part of your future. He is and always will be a special person in your life ~ Maureen
Hi Maureen, I marvel at how when I need a little guiding, a little nudging or just being acknowleged for how I feel, you are there and right on track with how I feel…. a lot of the time…. amazing. I feel my son Ashley must be right there by your side, sometimes, urging you to "Help my Mum", "Let her know she will be ok, and get through this somehow, all the while loving me and honouring me as her son"
You are so right Maureen, grief is very much like the seasons and nature in our life, it can turn very quickly, sun to clouds and bucketing down, as well as grey and dark with little rays of sunshine poking through, to make us smile. Thank you for the rainbows you send often, and may you have a wonderful vacation away. Enjoy …Hugs Janelle
I sit in front on my computer and listen to the song "I'll See You Again" by Westlake. This beautiful song says everything I'm feeling and would say if I could to my wonderful husband. If you get a chance listen to this song. Westlake is a group from Ireland. I listen to this and other songs that have meaning to us. Like our song when we first met, which was Not A Moment to Soon by Tim McGraw. Thank you for all your help in dealing with my grief.
Maureen, Thank you so much for acknowleging crying in grief. I cry for my son Marty everyday. I miss him so much and we did so much together. They are great memories at home and everywhere we went together. I cry for him because he is not getting to enjoy his life because of a horrible tragedy that should have not happened. You are always giving me comfort and hope and I looked forward to hearing from you. You seem to know exactly what I am going through that day.
Becky Loflin
Marty's Mama
Dear Maureen, I have been reading your writings and listening to your messages every day. My son died 5 weeks ago and the pain is indescribable and I don't know how I'll ever feel anything but anguish ever again. He was only 23 and it was an accident and a tragedy. Now my daughter has no brother to share her memories and her future and our hopes and dreams are shattered.
I have been searching for blogs written by those who have lost a child as well as websites that can give me guidance. I have assembled them onto one site, and I've included your website and Facebook page to help myself and others.
Here's the website: http://www.scoop.it/t/grief-and-loss
Feel free to share this with other parents who are looking for help:
Graham's Mom
What a lovely memorial to Graham in helping so many others be able to find resources to support them in their grief. Thank you for including Esdeer and Stepping through Grief Jennifer. Grief rips our life and our hearts asunder, one day there will come something other than pain, it is such early days yet for you and your family, thinking of you ~ Maureen
havent had that safe place in along time
thank you so much for the audio message. I cry whenever the moment comes over me. I lost my son in febuary. My family is so supportive which I feel is important as well. They see me crying and hug me right away. My sadness is overwhelming at times but my family is always there.
Thank you for your beautiful comments, so appreciate you being here and being able to walk alongside you in your grief ~ Maureen
july 4th is my babys birthday . i dont know what to do or even how im going to handle it knowing shes not here she will be 1 years old . could you tell me what i should do . i didnt know if i should see her . and still treat her like shes here and buy like a cake and or do a candle lighting or not see her at all
Dolores the lead up to anniversary days can be so very hard. It really rests with you and it can help to ask yourself these questions.
1. Do I want to be alone or with people
2. Do I want to stay home or go somewhere.
3. Do I want to remember her and honour her presence in my life even though it was for a short time, or do I want to distract myself on that day.
You might find these resources helpful
My e-book – Remember with Love gives ideas for anniversaries and lots more http://esdeer.com/remember-with-love-2/
You might find these free resources helpful too: http://esdeer.com/the-big-a-day/ & http://esdeer.com/3days/
There is no right or wrong way, its up to you. Listen to you and do what feels right for you ~ Maureen
I love that you always leave us messages. Seems that they always come at the best times needed. Love ya!
Thanks Elizabeth
Love never dies, it becomes a light which shines from the eyes.
I believe that love never disappears, it is always there, it is like our souls, we cannot see them, nor feel them, yet it is our souls which make us what we are.
This is why I believe that one day we shall meet up with our loved ones, in heaven.
I am grieving, but my heart aches for all you people. God Bless.
hello
My husband passed away July 29,2012 from liver cancer. he was too young to go and he always took very good care of his body. I cry everyday. I get angry at people who abuse their bodies and still alive, i get angry at the doctors, i cry why did he leave me? They say everyday it gets easier. Well to me it is getting worse. i go to a grief group once a month but feel it is not enough. I am so unhappy. My life has been tough but when i met my husband he made my world! He took good care of me and truly truly loved me. I cant stand to eat nothing tastes good. No one in my family seems to understand because they are not going through what i am.