I’ve been dipping in and out through this book now for a few months and really liking what I’m reading. Much of what Dr Louis LaGrand writes reflects very much what I believe about grief and our ability to heal.
I believe that healing can enter the broken places of our life in three ways:
1. By feeling all the pain and anguish of our loss and expressing the gamut of emotions that comes up for us.
2. By finding ways to connect and bring the love and memories of our loved one into our day to day.
3. By filling part of our day, most days, with re-investing in life, living our life now and facing towards our future.
He covers each of these in his book Healing Grief, Finding Peace. 101 Ways to Cope with the Death of Your Loved One.
The first part of the book is an overview of grief and healing and includes the five gifts for getting through our loss. He states that a gift is not a reward but a sign of love which we can give to ourselves.
Gift 1: Knowledge about grief and grief work
Gift 2: The desire to make wise choices
Gift 3: Learning the truth about the death and that life must change
Gift 4: Myth breaking
Gift 5: Persistence
The second part of the book is all about grief healing – 101 ways. These are short and easy to read. You can read one after the other or dip into when you feel like it. Each has a positive message helping to support us as well as giving us practical suggestions for moving through our grief towards healing. His messages honour the impact that grief has in our lives as well as recognise the continuation of our love for our loved ones. “We are eternally connected through love.”
Dr Louis LaGrand has been working in the field of bereavement for over thirty years, writing, conducting research and supporting those who grieve to find their way again. Peppered throughout the book you will find some of his less personal and more academic words coming through – “secondary losses”, “place of disposal”, “transitional object” and “disenfranchised grief”. Don’t let that put you off. This is a great book for anyone who is grieving and who is ready to begin healing their brokenness and find hope in a new tomorrow.
I’ll leave you with a quote from the beginning of the book:
“Time heals all wounds is an often quoted message of hope given to those mourning the death of a loved one. Regrettably, it is a half-truth at best. As a wise mother whose seventeen year old son was killed in an automobile accident said to me: Time only heals if you work between the minutes……….This book is all about working between the minutes…..” Louis LaGrand
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Maureen Hunter is an inspirational writer and grief steps mentor giving comfort and hope to many. She is passionate about helping people to step through grief and build a new and different life after loss, one in which their loved one is always a part of. Sharing how to keep hearts connected forever.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Maureen,
Does this book give you any suggestions for dealing with losing your loved ones to illness and subsequent flashbacks of the harsh treatment they have to endure?
I’m yet to find an answer to that.
blessings
Aileen
Hi Aileen
I’d love to be able to tell you yes – here are your answers. Unfortunately no though, flashbacks are thoughts and he does give lots of information about the power of our thoughts and the benefits of focusing our mind through our grief. He also touches on EFT (emotional freedom technique) which is helpful for many. Although it may not answer your questions specifically it is a great book written not only by someone who has worked in the field of loss for many years but also as a bereaved sibling and a bereaved father ~ Maureen ♥
Hi Maureen,
EFT has come up a few times on dealing with them emotions and being able to release them. I might buy this book, even though I have read a trillion books on grief. I think EFT is something that I might consider next on this grief journey.
It will be eight years on July 26 and I really have done the hard yards and that is the only little bit left to let go of. Other than that I am accepting that it is all part of the grand plan and Zoe’s suffering was for spiritual growth (hard to accept as a Mother) and a higher purpose.
I love your work, you are brilliant and so on my wavelength. I direct people to your website because what you are doing is in the divine plan for sure and Stuart would be so proud.
Love Aileen xoxo
*those emotions I meant to type.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9CQNByVJks&feature=youtu.be
This is a link that I saved the other day but have not really looked at yet.
blessings
Aileen xoxox
thank you! I have wanted a read like you describe. I am still not dealing with my husband’s death.
Thank you Maureen for sharing about this book. I can’t wait to get it! Since Marty was taken away from me by a dr’s mistake I struggle each day trying to just breathe. Reading has been a big part of how I survive or maybe just get through my nights. You always provide me with just what I need at the right time.
Love,
Becky Loflin
Marty’s Mama
i love to read ;i would love to have one of your books. when my husband and mother pass i moved into a group home ;i only get 66$ out of my disability check i am grieving daily ;when its bed time it worse . if u could send me any books on grieving or deppersion i would really like that ;i can’t afford to pay for any books u have ;i would really love to read them .(just asking for a littke help) love donna
A lot of the books I recommend Donna you should be able to get from your local library, though they may have to order them in for you. ~ Maureen